he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize