i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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