from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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