Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
