It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
