and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
