See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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