That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
