I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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