She announced her abortion via fbk
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
nutella sex= disaster
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
