i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
