If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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