We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
