if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize