i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize