We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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