Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
