woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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