So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize