Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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