I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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