yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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