She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
40s are totally the cure
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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