Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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