So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
