Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
false alarm, still single
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