Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
