She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
