Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I understand Curling. That high.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
