So drunk its hurt
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
