11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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