Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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