So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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