So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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