The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wear drunk well.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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