Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
