He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
