whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
