I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
