you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
