I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
