It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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