Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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