drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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