pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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