How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
