Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
