I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
