so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
