hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Barsexuality is the new black.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
