I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
