I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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