No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
