My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
