Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
