She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
