i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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