You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I want a musical about memes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
