The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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