I got chris browned last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
